Language of Love
by sweeternity
Summary: Jocelyn Coine is a YouTuber. A Deaf YouTuber. Join her as she goes to VidCon 2013 and meets several other YouTubers who take her in and become some of her dearest friends. (Rated T to be safe)
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Hello everyone! I hope you like this story. It's obviously a fanfiction that I have just thought up and thought it would be fun to write. Just so you ya'll know, I'm not deaf, but I've studied American Sign Language and Deaf Culture most of my life and I am hoping to use it in a career. ENJOY!

IMPORTANT NOTE: I am going to use _**italics**_ and BOLD__for phrases that are signed.

Chapter One - Vlogging

All of my life, I have been deaf. Until recently, I had been really down about it. I didn't know anyone else who was deaf or even hard of hearing. My family had done their best to make sure I was happy and developing socially, but there's only so much they can do.

I've gone to a normal school for my whole school career, including college. I've decided to study psychology to become a therapist for other deaf teenagers going through what I had to. I had no one to talk to about how I felt and how it affected me as a teen.

Until I found YouTube.

YouTube had become a place of refuge for me. I became a vlogger. The _only_deaf vlogger on the whole of YouTube_. _I had decided to make a difference in my life and hopefully make a difference in others lives as well.

This is my story of how I met the most amazing people on YouTube.

_**Hi everyone!**_ I signed into my high-definition camera. _So today I've decided to do something a little different...I want to talk about how you feel about being deaf.__**I want to know your experiences with being deaf in a hearing world. With me, for example, I've been deaf my entire life and don't know what's it's like to hear. It sounds like something out of a Harry Potter book honestly!**_ I paused here to do the sign for 'laughing'. I love to make my fans laugh. I want them to know that being deaf makes them unique and special.

_**I know it has been hard for most of you to be deaf in a hearing world. I know how that feels. I can't imagine what it must be like to hear and then lose your hearing suddenly from disease or accident. I don't want to get too deep into this subject for now so I'm going to keep it short. Let me know in the comments or through a video message how you feel about being deaf. Tell me your stories, my beloved friends! Thanks and I can't wait to hear from you**_!

I stopped the video recorder and began to upload the video into my Macbook Pro to edit it for YouTube. Opening a browser, I typed in " " into the address bar. Ahhh, YouTube. It's been my favorite site for a long, long time. I learned how to read lips using videos from Smosh, Tobuscus, iJustine, Meekakitty, PewDiePie, Jenna Marbles, Nigahiga, and lots of others. They always had been there for me when I was down.

As I went to my webpage, I saw that I had gained 20 more subscribers from last time! I clapped my hands with happiness and pumped a fist in the air. "YES!" I yelled, probably scaring my family. I was the only deaf one in my family due to a disease I had when I was younger. Most of my subscribers were deaf, but about a third of them were hearing. I always put subtitles in my videos so that the hearing are not left out. :)

I was now up to 200,000 subscribers! Now maybe I'd get a chance to go to VidCon!

I edited the video, uploaded it to YouTube, and watched as the views climbed up and up.

I awoke to my pillow shaking. That's my alarm clock. I blinked my eyes and sat up, pushing the button on the side to stop it from vibrating. I rubbed my eyes and stretched a bit.

"What am I going to do today?" I said aloud. I usually talk most of the time. I have no idea what I sound like, but it must sound funny to hearing people.

I felt vibrations on the floor as someone approached my door. My mother peaked her head in and signed _**You better get ready for work, Jocelyn. It's already 7:30!**_

My alarm had been late! I jumped out of bed, rushing to the dresser and grabbing any matching clothes I could find. "Could you grab me a SlimFast shake or something, mom?" I yelled to her as she walked away. I knew she heard me; it's weird how we communicate that way. Most of the time I yell (probably too loud) and if she doesn't answer by signing back, I know she'll help me out.

I ran a brush through my long red hair. I was so proud of it. I've been growing it out for about 13 years now; it's almost down to my butt. I quickly wrapped it around my head into a loose bun and pinned it into place. Brushing my teeth, I slipped on my flip flops and grabbed my purse. I through my iPhone in (I use texting only _obviously) _and ran back into the bathroom to spit into the sink.

I kissed my mom goodbye while grabbing the shake from her hand and wished her a good day.

As I drove to work, my mind was racing. I didn't check my video! Gosh dangit...I hope I got some responses! It will be hard to work today :)

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed it! I'm still figuring out how to work this thing, but hopefully it'll be good. :) Have a lovely day!


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Hello everyone! Here goes the second chapter of my story 'Language of Love'. Just a small change: I'm going to use the asterisk (*) and BOLD for signed sentences. I noticed that you can't see the bold and italics on the mobile version of Wattpad. Thanks! :)

Chapter Two - 200,000 Subscribers?!

Getting home from work, I threw my purse on my bed and sighed. It was exhausting. I was working on my internship with a psychologist at a local Oregon hospital. Upon declaring my Bachelor's degree at the University of Oregon in Eugene, I was required to do some internship work as a part of my degree. It was grueling work and took most of my time.

I threw myself onto my bed and grabbed my laptop from the floor. I turned it on, waiting for it to go to the desktop. The first website to check: YouTube. I was curious to see how many people had watched my video from yesterday. I usually got around 300 views from the first 24 hours that I upload a video.

This video had nearly 1,000 views.

My jaw dropped and I was stunned for a moment. 1,000 views?! In less than 24 hours?! How is this possible? I couldn't have imagined this much publicity! In one swift movement, my fingers traced the mouse pad to where my username was at the top of the screen. I clicked on it with my heart beating faster and faster...

I had over 800 messages and video responses!

This was blowing my mind! People really enjoyed my video? Looking through a few of them, I noticed the common trend of people writing in to tell me how much they appreciated my caring nature and how I asked them to share their stories about being deaf. I was overwhelmed with stories of success, love, and charity, as well as stories of abuse, neglect, and hate. Some of these stories made me laugh and some of them made me cry out with anger and sadness towards the abuse that some of my views had been through.

After a few hours of reading emails (time REALLY got away from me), I reached the last message...which was from YouTube Headquarters. I nervously opened it and watched as it loaded.

It said:

"Dear Ms. Jocelyn Coine,

Congratulations on your channel's success on YouTube! We have been informed of your channel reaching 200,000 subscribers.

We would like to extend you a partnership with YouTube on the basis of continuing to make your 'vlogs' and gaining more subscribers. This means that we will pay you a substantial amount of money, which will be discussed further at VidCon this year."

That was enough for me. I jumped off of my bed and let out a yell. I danced at the thought: I'm going to VidCon this year! I have never been so excited in my entire life!

I turned to my door as a felt the vibrations on my floor getting closer. My mother came into the my room with a panicked look on her face. *What is going on in here?!* she sighed, shaking. I ran up to her and kissed her on the cheek. As I pulled back, she looked even more confused.

*I'm going to VidCon this year!* Of course my mother knew about my videos on YouTube. She had been the one that encouraged it from the beginning. Her face lit up with excitement and she hugged me tighter than ever.

*What did YouTube say?!* she signed quickly and I had a hard time deciphering exactly what she had said.

*I have been given a partnership with YouTube and I get to go to VidCon this year with my very own booth!* If I could my signing could get any louder, it would be screaming.

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has been reading my story. I'm so excited to write this and I have so many ideas floating around in my head! Loves :D


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Nothing to say here sooo...

Chapter Three - VidCon 2013

It had been 3 months already since receiving my email from YouTube Headquarters. Since then, I had made sure that all of my work had been done at the hospital for my internship and received my degree! YAY! I was finally a proud owner of a Bachelors degree in Psychology from the University of Oregon!

However, more exciting things were about to happen. I had been preparing for VidCon by emailing and using my TTY to communicate with YouTube Headquarters in California. They had arranged for my plane ride down to Anaheim for VidCon in August, which was now only a day away! My plan was to fly down two days before the first day of VidCon and get settled into a hotel nearby. Hopefully, I would be able to meet some of my favorite YouTubers like Jenna Marbles, Smosh, Tobuscus, iJustine, and tons of others that I knew would be there.

As I packed my suitcase for the trip, my little brother came running into my room. I knew he was there when he jumped on my back (as it was turned to the door). I set him down laughing and said, "I told you not scare me like that!" I loved to talk to my 7 year old brother because his signs were a little...scattered.

"I wanted to wish you good luck on your trip, Jocelyn," I read on his lips. He had been the first person I ever read lips on when he started talking. I wanted to learn to read lips to feel more normal. I was getting really good, but struggled now and again with some words or with people not pronouncing their words right.

"Thank you, Jonah!" I said aloud, "Aren't you so proud of your big sis?" I saw him giggle and nod his head.

"I am very proud of you!" he said. I picked him up and hugged him once again with all of the strength I could muster.

"I love you, Jonah." I said into his year, hopefully not too loudly. I set him down so I could read his lips. He signed the one-handed sign for *I love you*

My plane landed at LAX around 3:30 in the afternoon on the Wednesday before VidCon. I had been so nervous to fly. I had flown to see my grandfather in New Hampshire when I was 16, but even then I had been with my mother and little brother. This time I was alone.

Los Angeles was a very different place from Eugene, Oregon. There were so many people that were so interesting to watch. Pulling my large rolling suitcase behind me, I walked through the airport and out onto the pick-up area near the street. I was told to look for a person holding a poster with my name on it, a representative from YouTube. Not seeing anyone with a large sign outside, I wandered around for a bit, taking in the beautiful sights of Los Angeles. I breathed in deeply, letting my lungs fill with air and closing my eyes for a moment.

As I opened my eyes again, I saw that a car had pulled up to the curb. It was a limousine! A man got out of the car, holding a large poster. I hoped that this was my ride. He walked around the front of the car and held up the sign while looking into his pocket at his phone. The sign read, 'Jocelyn Coine' on it in large, black letters, neatly written with a Sharpie.

I smiled and walked towards the man. He put his phone away and noticed me right away. Catching my eye, I saw him mouth, "Jocelyn Coine?" I nodded my head excitedly. The man who I now noticed was wearing a very nice suit and name tag that read 'Ron' on the front pocket of his jacket, walked towards the limousine and opened the back door for me. I nervously walked closer and looked inside. It was a lavish shade of maroon with black lining around the edges of the seat. There was probably seating for around eight people in there! I smiled again.

_This is really happening!_ I thought to myself. I could barely contain my excitement!

I felt a tug on my suitcase behind me which knocked me out of my daze. The driver was trying to take my suitcase from my hands to place it in the trunk. He scared me a bit and noticed my fear. He let go of the case and indicated to the trunk. I made an 'o' shape with my mouth; an indication that I understood him and I let go of the suitcase. He smiled at me and rolled to over to the back of the limo to place in the trunk. I swung my backpack off of my back and climbed into the back seat, placing it on the seat next to me.

As we drove through the city, I couldn't help but thinking what kind of an adventure I had in front of me for the next few days. I had never been to a big city before and this was a whole new experience for me...and I was excited.

Authors Note: I actually have something to say here...haha. Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoy! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Thanks to all who are reading this story. It means a lot. :)**

Chapter Four -

It was a short ride to the hotel I was staying at. I immediately went to the front desk and checked in. Complete paid for! My room was on the fourth floor so I made my way to the elevator. As the doors opened, I saw someone I recognized from YouTube. PewDiePie.

Felix Kjellberg was standing in front of me. He smiled as he stepped out of the elevator and out of the way of the doors. I smiled back, not knowing what to say to him. I walked into the elevator, pulling my suitcase behind me. He had almost passed me when he touched my shoulder suddenly. I had not expected him to do this so I jumped a little.

"I'm so sorry, but are you...?" I saw him say, a little confused and little apprehensively. I wasn't sure what to say; had he heard of my channel?

"I'm not sure, am I?" I said aloud, making sure to raise my eyebrows in amusement.

He laughed, "Sorry, I thought you were someone I recognized from YouTube..."

"Oh, I am who you think I am," I stated proudly, standing a little taller.

His smile only got bigger as I saw him say, "You're FlippaCoine, right?"

"That's me."

"So you're here for VidCon?"

"Yes sir. Just getting to my room."

Felix smiled with the corner of his mouth as he said, "That's awesome! I love your channel even though I'm not..." he paused for a moment.

"Deaf?" I offered.

"Yeah, that," he said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, "...congratulations on 200,000 subscribers, by the way!"

"Thank you!" I smiled, and then added, "You know, one third of my subscribers are hearing so...you're totally not alone."

He laughed, "Oh good." Looking down at his phone, his eyes widened, "Oh shoot, I have to go...see you around?"

"Yeah sure," I nodded and smiled at him the best I could, "I'll see you at VidCon!" I turned and walked into the elevator.

Pushing the button to the fourth floor, I saw him standing in front of the doors as he said, "Or before then." I smiled at him once again as the doors shut before I could respond.

I walked to my room in utter awe and shock: I had met PewDiePie! One of my favorite YouTubers of all time! I had to tell my mother about this. I had brought my laptop to Skype with her...I'd have to do that later.

The room they had given me was huge! It had two queen size beds in it with a mini kitchen to the side and a balcony. This was nothing I was used to back home. I can't believe this is really happening.

Felix's POV:

I walked away from the elevator thinking how awesome it was to talk to FlippaCoine! She was so much prettier in real life and really funny, too. I shoved my phone into my pocket as I walked to the hotel bar where I was meeting some of the other YouTubers.

"Where have you been?" Justine called out to me as I approached. She was sitting at the bar with a drink in her hand and Toby Turner and Ian Hecox on her left and right sides. They looked like they had stopped the conversation as I walked in.

"Oh, you know, just chatting a girl up." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Toby scoffed, "You? Chatting with a girl? Preposterous!" He took a sip from the drink in his hand.

I sat down next to Ian and ordered a drink from the bartender. "Of course. I'm such a ladies man." I put my elbows on the table and continued, "and she was hot, too."

"Who was she? Did you get name? Phone number?" Justine pressured.

"Oh I already knew her name," I said, taking a sip from the drink that the bartender had just brought me, "It's Jocelyn Coine."

Justine's smiled faded, "She's here?!"

I swallowed my sip, "Yeah. She's a new YouTube partner. 200,000 subscribers."

"How exactly did you talk to her?" Ian chimed in, a little drunk sounding.

"Like a normal person. She's only deaf, not dumb."

Toby laughed, "I like her channel. She's awesome!" Justine shot him a tiny glare that only I caught. She had been upset with him since their break-up and, it seemed to me, trying to get him back.

"Yeah, I said that to her and she blushed. It was adorable." I took another sip, "Plus, she's funny. Have you ever watched her videos, Justine?"

Justine snorted slightly, "A few..."

I laughed, "Then you know why she's here at VidCon. She's got talent."

Jocelyn's POV:

I stretched out on the bed. It was now 4:45 and I had not slept very well the night before. I couldn't stop thinking about VidCon and how awesome this was going to be. I couldn't wait for it to get started. But for now, I rolled over, set my phone to vibrate at 6:30, and closed my eyes to rest for a while.

**Author's Note: Ok seriously, that's the only username I could think of. FlippaCoine? Haha get it? Flippa...yeah you got it. It's super dumb. But oh well. I'm on a first name basis. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five - The Giants of YouTube

*buzzbuzz*

...wha?

Slowly opening my eyes, I rolled over and felt around for my iPhone. It just kept buzzing as I searched for it. I finally found it almost under my pillow. Stretching, I swung my legs over the bed and rubbed my eyes. The hotel room came into focus and I remembered where I was: L.A. I smiled as I remembered meeting Felix (aka: PewDiePie) and looked down at my phone. 6:30 on the dot.

I was a little hungry so I wandered over to the mini fridge near the kitchen area of the room. There were all sorts of complimentary drinks and small snacks. I was hungry for some dinner. I pulled off my clothes and put on a pair of jean shorts with a brown belt and a white t-shirt with a cute multi-colored scarf. I ran a brush through my hair so that it cascaded down my back and slipped on my brown flip flops. Grabbing my purse, I walked out the door, careful to make sure the door closed behind me.

The elevator doors opened on main floor to reveal a busy lobby with lots of people rushing around. I bet it would be loud if I could hear. I walked out of the elevator and towards the bar. They have to have food there, right? As I approached, I could see some people sitting at the bar that I recognized...

Felix's POV:

"I'm just saying sometimes I'm into that," I rolled my eyes and finished off the drink in my hand. I wasn't even sure what we were talking about; I just say random stuff sometimes. I turned my head towards the entrance to see someone I knew. Immediately, I jumped off of my bar stool and ran over to her. Jocelyn saw me coming, stopped, and smiled at me.

"Hey!" I said, smiling back at her, "Care to join us?" I pointed over to where Toby, Justine, and Ian were sitting at the bar.

Jocelyn looked over to the bar and hesitated for a moment. She then said, "Sure!"

"Great!" I stretched my arm out to her, touching her back to lead her to the bar. We walked over to the bar and offered her my chair next to Ian. She took a seat and set her purse down on the ground next to her feet.

Toby, Justine, and Ian stopped talking and looked over to us. "Hey..." Ian started, "You're that girl Felix was telling us about!"

Jocelyn looked at me and smiled slightly, "I didn't know that..." she trailed off, blushing a bit.

"Oh it's ok, Jocelyn" Toby leaned forward to touch her arm which was resting on the bar, "It was all good things."

"Oh, good," Jocelyn sighed and looked at Toby, "I was worried." She smiled at him.

"I'm Justine, by the way." Justine interrupted, pushing her hand in front of Jocelyn for a handshake. Justine smiled at her.

Jocelyn took her hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you, Justine. I've watched all your videos. I'm a bit of a fan of yours!" They dropped their hands and Jocelyn leaned over Ian to shake hands with Toby, "Oh you don't need to introduce yourself. I know exactly who you are."

Toby smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen and said, "Are you part of the Audience?" He took her hand and kissed it, taking the extra step to make Jocelyn blush, which she did profusely.

"Yes I am," Jocelyn's face now was as red as her long hair, "I have been for about 5 years." I could tell that, even though her voice was monotone, that it wavered in nervousness. She pulled her hand back and went to shake Ian's hand. He grabbed it and shook it.

"Ian Hecox." He said.

Jocelyn laughed loudly, "Oh gosh, I know who you are too! Ian from Smosh, I presume." She got up off of the bar stool and curtsied to Ian, making him laugh, "Almighty Smosh!"

Laughing, Jocelyn scooted back onto the bar stool next to Ian and patted the seat next to her for me to sit down. I took the seat next to her and leaned on the bar.

"So Jocelyn," Toby took a sip from the drink in his hand and put it down, "How do you like Los Angeles?"

"It's great! I love this city so far," Jocelyn smiled, "It's a lot different from home."

I tapped her shoulder so she could read my lips, "You're from Oregon, right?" I said, looking into her sparkling green eyes, which were concentrated on my lips as I spoke.

"Yes I am," Jocelyn said, looking me in the eyes again, "I love it there...and I almost miss it already." She looked down at her feet.

Jocelyn's POV:

I missed home already. I had just gotten here! I can't be homesick. I have just met four of my idols from YouTube! I need to get this out of my head...

I looked up at Felix, "I need to get some dinner." I said, standing up suddenly. I collected my bag from the floor and swung it over my shoulder. I saw Felix saying something so I turned my attention to him so that I would read his lips.

"...come, if you want." I obviously caught the end of his sentence.

"Sorry, could you say that again?"

"Sorry...I said that we're going to get some dinner if you want to come with us." Felix repeated. He looked hopeful, like maybe I would want to join them. I turned and looked at the rest of them. They all smiled back at me, waiting for my answer.

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading guys. Just for fun, I've put the link to what Jocelyn was wearing this chapter. It's for fun:**

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	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Quick poll: Who do you think Jocelyn should end up with? Please comment or send me a message with your vote! :)**

Chapter Six - Homesick

I sat there at the bar, thinking. Did I want to go to dinner with some people that I had barely met? Well, I had actually known them for many years. I debated for a moment more than then said, "No that's ok. I don't want to interfere." I bent down, picked up my bag and slid off the stool. "I think I'm going to go back to my room." I faced Toby, Felix, and Ian, "It was so nice to meet you all." I shook their hands, all of them looking confused. Then I turned to Justine, "You too, Justine." I smiled at her and held my hand out to shake hers. She smiled back.

"Nice you meet you too, Jocelyn," I saw her say with a smile as she shook my hand.

I turned back and waved good-bye to the boys. "See you at VidCon!" I said as I walked out of the bar, not looking back to see their reactions.

Toby's POV:

"See you at VidCon!" Jocelyn walked out of the bar and to the elevator in the lobby, her hair shuffling from side to side as she walked. She was more gorgeous in person than on YouTube.

"Well," Justine sighed, bringing me back to reality, "Let's go eat. I'm starving!" She linked her arm with me and began to pull me away. It's like she still thinks we're dating! She's been annoying me ever since we broke up like a year ago. I REALLY didn't want to get back together with her, but I also didn't want to lose a good friend and fellow YouTuber. Plus, everyone thinks we're such good friends and a good couple.

Justine pulled me out of the bar and through the lobby. I caught Jocelyn's eye as she waited for the elevator to come to the lobby. She smiled and blushed a bit, lowering her eyes to the floor so I was unable to see them. She looked grateful when the elevator doors open. I watched her climb in and push the button to her floor, still blushing.

Stepping out into the cold night air, Justine let my arm go and faced Ian, Felix, and I. "Where should we go?" she said, a little to rushed.

"Uh...how about McDonalds?" Felix suggested, spotting a McDonalds close by. Justine looked at him with disappointment.

"McDonalds? No way you're taking me to McDonalds! We need somewhere better than that..." Justine's voice trailed off and I focused my attention to another girl that just wouldn't leave my thoughts...

Jocelyn's POV:

I reached my room and realized that I still hadn't eaten anything. I just wanted to get out of that awkward situation. I really didn't want to interrupt their dinner they obviously had planned. I felt like such an outsider here in Los Angeles. Sighing, I decided to get out my laptop and see what progress my video had made a couple days ago about VidCon.

Logging onto YouTube, I signed in and waited for the page to load.

_I had 250,000 subcribers_.

I let out a gasp. 250,000 subscribers?! This is more than I had ever dreamed! I looked to the corner of the page and saw that I had around 300 messages! I clicked on the icon and began to go through the messages I had received since getting to Los Angeles. Most of them were congratulating me on getting to VidCon and how excited my subscribers were. I had several send messages saying that they would be visiting me at my booth!

After going through about half the messages, my Skype icon popped up. My mom was calling! I answered it by clicking the green button, making the screen pop up with my mother's face.

**_Hi honey!_**she signed.

**_Hi mom! How are you? _**I signed back.

_**Good. I'm so excited to see you doing alright! I've been so worried about you!**_

_**No need to worry, mother. I'm fine.**_

_**How was your flight? Good? Have you eaten? Where are you staying? What time...**_

_**Mom!**_I interrupted with my palm towards the screen, stopping her from signing so fast.**_I'm fine. My flight went well, I'm staying at the Ramada, and I'm going to eat soon._**

She looked relieved._**Good. **_she continued,_**Met anyone important yet? **_

I smiled. **_Yes mom, I have._**

Her face lit up with excitement. **_Who?!_**

I laughed as I fingerspelled _**Toby Turner, iJustine, PewDiePie, and Ian Hecox from Smosh.**_

She clapped her hands together and then signed _**Wow! That's great!**_She looked like she was tearing up. She was suddenly very still, indicating her speechlessness.

**_You ok, mom?_**

**_Yes dear...I'm just so proud of you. You have come so far. _**

I smiled. My mother was the sentimental type. She always cried at the end of movies and at weddings, but she especially cried when she was proud of my little brother or me.

_**Thanks, mom. That means a lot.**__**I love you, mom.**_

_**I love you too, sweetheart.**_

I sat outside of my hotel room on the floor with my iPhone. After my conversation with my mom, I ordered a pizza online to have delivered, I didn't really feel like going out. Being deaf, I decided to sit outside the room, as it had no windows for me to see the pizza delivery guy coming. I checked my text messages and saw that I had one from my best friend, Sophie.

**Sophie:** Hey bestie :) How was the flight?

It was sent about an ago, probably when I had been asleep.

**Me:** It was good. I'm a little tired still though :(

She immediately replied on her iPhone.

**Sophie:** That's good! How is Los Angeles? I hear it's amazing lol

**Me:** I really like it here. It's really different from Oregon. I almost miss it already :( but I like it here :)

**Sophie: **Any cute boys yet? ;)

I laughed to myself. Sophie had always been trying to set me up with cute boys throughout our school years. Since I was the only deaf person in my high school, I hadn't really dated anyone. I guess it's kind of a turn-off when you can't hear. I replied with the same answer I usually give her.

**Me: **Yes, but as per usual, they're not interested.

I knew Sophie would be upset by this. She had always been the cute, popular girl at school. With her shoulder-length blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes she wasn't lacking when it came to boys who wanted to date her. My phone buzzed with her reply.

**Sophie.** :( come on, that's not true! You have so many good qualities about yourself! don't you dare put yourself down like that.

**Me: **It's just the way it is, Sophie. I'm just different.

**Sophie: **And that's what makes you special to me :)

I love this girl. She had been my best friend since 4th grade. We have always been there for each other since day one. She came to my rescue when some boys at our school were teasing me about being deaf. I had just started learning to read lips well so I knew exactly what they were saying to me. She defended me when they had pushed me around and called me names that I didn't understand. I don't know how I would have made it through without her.

**Me: **Thank you. :) You always know what to say to bring my spirits up.

**Sophie: **That's what best friends are for :)

**Author's Note: Another chapter DOWN! haha I love writing this story, but I got stuck for a while. Thanks for reading! Be sure to answer the question I put as my status on my page :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading guys! I love seeing the reading numbers go up. :) Enjoy this chapter. **

Chapter Seven - The Day Before

The next day (Thursday before VidCon) wasn't that eventful. I mostly toured around the city by myself, looking at the tall buildings and how the sun reflected off of them. I loved being in this city. I felt out of place, yet welcomed by it's people and the culture here. It was very different from Oregon, but I loved the difference. I was homesick, don't get me wrong, but this was a nice change from my rainy home.

When I got back to my hotel around 2 pm, I kicked off my shoes and flung myself on the bed. I had been in contact with Sophie via text messaging. My mom had Skyped me twice since that first night in Los Angeles and wanted to keep a close eye on me. She worries too much.

The last conversation I had with my mother was last night. She asked me about getting a cochlear implant. We've been talking a lot about this subject. I had been hesitant. I mean, I was part of a Deaf community and I wasn't sure I wanted to give that up. There was something unique about me and I liked that. I sighed and sat up in my bed, thinking.

Grabbing my laptop, I flipped it open to do nothing in particular. My mother had done some research into getting a cochlear implant. She had been for a while. I didn't think that she wanted me to hear, she just wanted me to know all the beautiful sounds I was missing. I had no idea were really all that great.

I looked around the Internet for some more research as I contemplated what I should do.

**Toby's POV:**

I walked out of the bathroom and into my room, making it steam up with the heat from the shower. Rubbing my hair with a towel, I sat down on the bed. My iPhone on the bed next to me glowed with a text from Justine. I ignored it for now. She hasn't left me alone for the last day. Dinner last night had been interesting. Justine had sat next to me the whole time, laughing at every joke and touching my arm every once in a while.

Getting dressed, I remembered that I told her that I would see her tonight for a drink or possibly dinner again. I rolled my eyes as I picked up my phone, hating myself for saying words I didn't mean.

**Justine: **Ready to hang out? ;)

I sighed as I replied to her text.

**Me: **It's only 2:30. I thought we were going to dinner.

Justine's reply was almost instant...

**Justine: **Well I thought maybe we could hang out before and talk.

Justine had been my girlfriend for a while. I knew what this meant.

**Me: **Honestly, there's nothing to talk about.

It took a minute for her response, but it came.

**Justine: **If you're talking about our relationship, I don't want to talk about that. It's history. I wanna talk about us.

**Me:** Haven't we already been through this?

**Justine:** ...I don't want to talk about our past relationship. I want to talk about the future.

I paused, thinking about this situation. I didn't want to go back into a relationship, but I didn't want to hurt Justine. I felt like we had a good run, but it just didn't work out for us...for many reason. Sighing, I decided against meeting wth her.

**Me**: I can't meet later. Something has come up.

I felt bad for lying to her, but I'm sure I would find something else to do to keep my mind busy and not thinking about Justine. I started a text to Ian to see what he was up to tonight.

**Jocelyn's POV:**

I stretched and sighed heavily. It was now 4:30 and I hadn't eaten anything since lunch around 12. I was super hungry so I decided to wander down to the lobby and grab something to eat. I grabbed my purse and shoes and headed for the door.

**Toby's POV:**

Down in the lobby, I wandered around, asking myself what I was doing. _Come on, Toby. She's not going to be down_ here...

Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

**Jocelyn's POV: **

The elevator was packed with people. I squeezed in and rode it down to the lobby. As soon at it reached the ground floor, I pushed myself out of it and brushed off my clothes. Looking around, I noticed Toby Turner and Ian Hecox standing a bit off by the head desk. I smiled and blushed. They hadn't noticed me, but I still felt different around these two. I had a small crush on both ever since I started watching them on YouTube years ago. This had been my dream: to go to VicCon and meet them in person and there they were, not 20 feet away. I must have been lost in my thoughts because I now noticed Toby looking at me. He smiled and waved for me to come over. Ian turned around to see who he was waving at, saw me, and joined Toby in waving me over.

_Oh my gosh, _I thought, _they've seen me and they're calling me over! _I smiled back and started over to them. I kept my eyes on their lips to see what they were saying. Ian turned back around so I couldn't see what he said. I read Toby's lips:

"Here she comes, act cool." his lips formed.

I reached them and said, "Hi! It's nice to see some familiar faces!" I said, maybe a little too excitedly.

"Of course! I wouldn't let you get lost in L.A., girl!" Toby said.

I laughed a bit and looked to Ian, "What are you boys up to this evening?"

"Not sure yet," Ian mumbled so I could barely read his lips, "We're kinda hungry."

Just then, I remembered something. "Hey Ian, where's Anthony? Don't you usually do everything together?"

Ian laughed and rubbed the back of his head casually, "He's out with Kalel, his girlfriend. He kind of left me behind." He looked a little sad.

"Oh, you mean...he's taken then?" I said, pretending to look disappointed. I had a small crush on Anthony too, but when he started dating Kalel, I kind of lost interest. He's still cute, but I don't want to fangirl over a spoken-for man.

I could see the disappointment spread across Ian's face. "Yeah, he is..." he looked down so that I couldn't read his lips anymore.

I laughed, "Don't worry! The better half of Smosh is still available!" I offered.

He looked up at me and a smile lifted the corner of his mouth as he said, "Oh haha, you are so funny." He suddenly pulled me into a hug. I was surprised, but I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, getting lost in his scent. He smelled so good...just like I imagined.

**Author's Note: Hey thanks for reading. Also, if you have any input, please say something. I don't get much feedback and would like some more :) Here's another outfit I wanted to share...for fun, of course:**

comfy_stuff/set?.svc=copypaste&embedder=7083483&id=81732375


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Almost 100 reads! YAY! Thanks for your support and feedback :) Keep it coming!**

Chapter Eight - Fans and Miscommunication

I pulled away from Ian and smiled at him. He smiled back, but then his face fell into a frown. He then said, "I do have a girlfriend, though."

This kind of made me a little sad. I felt a close connection with Ian, but I didn't want to ruin anything that he and his girlfriend had. I never fought over boys; not like I've ever had to.

"Why is that a bad thing?!," I smiled again at him, softly hitting him in the shouder, "You're too cute not to be taken."

I saw Ian laugh and blush a little. "Not true at all, Jocelyn." I saw him say, "We've been together for a while now...I'm not too sure where it's going..."

I wanted to comfort him because, after all, he was becoming a friend. "Oh it's ok, Ian. You'll figure it out." I turned to Toby, who was still behind me, "And as for you..." I smiled evily at him.

Toby's face turned into a face of sarcastic terror as he said, "What are you going to do to me?!" His hands found their way to his face, like he was shielding his eyes from the sun.

I smirked at him, "I haven't decided yet." I made a quick motion to come after him. He looked terrified and turned to run. I just laughed and turned back to Ian, "So where's your girlfriend?"

"She's out with her friends, I guess," Ian replied, barely moving his lips. I could tell this may have been a little upsetting to him. Maybe their relationship wasn't as strong as it could be...

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my waist. It surprised me so I let out what I'm sure was a loud noise, as I could tell by the look on Ian's face and by everyone else's faces around me. I turned quickly to see the grinning face of Toby Turner. I DID NOT like people sneaking up on me, even if I had a crush on them.

**Toby's POV: **

I grabbed Jocelyn around her waist to scare her as I snuck up behind her. I didn't know if she could see me out of her periferal vision, but after she made a loud noise that sounded like a mix between a dog getting kicked and a yell of anger. She turned around, looking a bit...angry?

"Please...don't...please don't do that..." she stammered out, holding onto her chest like she was out of breath.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Jocelyn. I didn't mean to..." I managed to say, looking her in the eyes so she knew that I meant it. She watched my lips and then looked angrily in my eyes.

"You can't just sneak up on a Deaf person, Toby." She walked away, slightly embarrassed and hiding her face from everyone in the room.

"Actually, it's really easy to sneak up on a Deaf person..." Ian mumbled, chuckling a bit.

"Shut up, Ian," I spat, "Now she's mad at me." Damn. I had made her mad at me.

Ian shrugged, "I didn't do it." He laughed a bit and touched my shoulder to show support, "She'll come around, dude. She seems like the kind of girl that doesn't hold a grudge for very long."

Just then, some fans came up to us and asked Ian and I for our autographs. I tried to act happy, but I couldn't be to convincing since I felt so bad about what I had done.

**Jocelyn's POV:**

_Stupid boys_, I mumbled to myself, _they don't know how to treat a girl. Especially a Deaf one. _I had reached the front doors to the hotel, not looking back to see if Toby had followed me. I liked him, that was for sure. I had watched his videos for years and now I finally meet him and he scares the shit out of me. _I guess I was a little harsh on him. _

Walking out onto the street, I had no idea where I was going to go. I had planned on just going out to eat since I had no fridge in my room to keep real food. I usually liked to cook, but being on the road makes it difficult.

I wandered around the street until I found a fast food restaurant that would provide me with some sustenance. I ordered my food and as I was getting my drink at the fountain, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Thinking Toby or Ian had followed me to tease me some more, I turned around quickly and aggresively to shoo them , it was a young girl who blushed.

She began to sign, **Hi...my name is Hannah and...and I wanted to say hi to you because...I watch your videos. **She was so adorable. Her hair was a short blonde, about chin length. She was smaller than me and around 11 years old. She had on a pink Smosh shirt that I seen in their online store before with jeans and some pink sneakers. She also signed very well, besides being a little shy.

Surprised that she signed, I signed back,** Hi Hannah! It's nice to meet you! You're the first fan I've ever met.**

She looked happy and signed, **Really?! That's so cool! **She stopped here for a moment and then signed, **You're here for VidCon aren't you? **

**Yes, **I signed back, **I'm guessing that you are too? **

Hannah excitedly nodded her head, making her hair flop up and down with her movements.

**Maybe I'll see you around at VidCon then! I'll be at my booth tomorrow. You should come see me there. **I smiled.

**I will! Of course I will! **Hannah signed, **I'll see you tomorrow! **She waved goodbye and then skipped away happily to an older woman who I assumed was her mother. I waved goodby as she did and laughed to myself.

_My first fan! And an adorable one at that!_

I got my drink and sat down, waiting for them to bring my order to my table. It was diffictult to order in a fast food place. I had to ask for a special menu to order from that I could point to. I wish everyone on the world could sign. It would make things so much easier. I bet everyone in the hearing world wished Deaf people could hear; it would make things easier for them. I sighed. Miscommunication was the most frustrating thing about being Deaf.

Thinking about this, my thoughts were turned to Toby and what had happened earlier. I felt bad about kind of yelling at him, but I was a little angry that he scared me. He knows I couldn't hear him. Oh well. Maybe I'd see him tomorrow and we'd clear this all up.

**Toby's POV:**

After the crowd had dispursed a little bit, I looked around for Jocelyn to see if she had come back into the hotel. I was disappointed to not see her anywhere. I needed to find her...

"Hi Toby!" I heard familar voice as it approached to my side.

"Oh hi, Justine," I mumbled, glancing at her sideways. Great, she found me.

"Hi Justine!" Ian said, excitedly.

She laughed and ignored Ian's greeting, "Don't sound too disappointed," she giggled and came to my front to get my attention, "I thought you were busy tonight." It was true; I had planned on finding something to do. I looked at Ian.

"Yeah we were just going out..." I said, hoping Ian would catch my drift.

Ian looked at me through thin eyes, as if trying to read my mind. Then, it hit him, "Yeah...yeah we were just going out to..."

"...get some dinner." I finished as my stomach growled loudly. I touched my flat abs and rubbed them to show emphasis on how hungry I was.

Justine's smile faded slightly. "Alright then. I'll just leave you guys to it then." She stalked away into the crowd, grabbing someone by the arm. I saw that it was Olga, my other ex-girlfriend. They like to hang out and talk about me, I'll bet.

Ian's voice knocked me out of my thoughts, "So are we really going to get something to eat?" He fiddled with his iPhone. I nodded and then Ian continued, "I'm going to call Anthony and see what he's doing."

Hanging out with Smosh might help me keep my mind off of her.

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I greatly appreciate it :) As always, feedback is welcome.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Yay more readers! :) You guys are awesome. Here's the next bit...**

Chapter Nine - A Big Surprise

Today was VidCon.

I woke up early, unable to sleep any longer out of excitement. I wanted to look cute. Who knew who I would meet today? I stepped out of the shower and dried my hair with a towel. It was really long so it took a long time to do. I decided to do some waves in it and wear my favorite skirt.

I finally fished my hair after about an hour and half. Putting on my make-up, I began to think about Toby and what happened yesterday. I hadn't seen him since so I didn't know if he was really sorry or just didn't want to see me. I would probably see him today; the thought made me have butterflies, even though I was still a little offended. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm.

My favorite outfit lay out on my bed. I put it on and made some final adjustments. I looked in the full-body mirror: a forest green knee-length skirt, brown belt, white shirt with a long gold necklace and some gladiator sandals. I thought I looked presentable so I grabbed my backpack with my laptop and things in it and walked out the door.

VidCon was huge. I walked in the Anaheim Convention Center at about 9 o'clock in the morning. I felt like a little kid at Disneyland for the first time: it looked magical. There were booths everywhere with all sorts of people wandering around them. I could feel the pounding of music on the floor. It vibrated up through my legs and into my heart. It must be so loud in here.

After wandering around for a while, I found a small booth with "FlippaCoine" written on a piece of paper folded into a tent on the desk. I walked around the desk and began to set up. I had really only brought my laptop and a small banner that I could hang above my head. I saw that other YouTubers (mostly more known) had headshots and were signing them. I hadn't even thought of that. I didn't think that I really needed that kind of thing...

Standing on a chair, I began to hang up the banner. I saw someone walk up to my booth out of the corner of my eye and watch me. I looked who it was. It was Jenna Marbles.

"Hi!" Jenna said. She was surrounded by people and smiled at me as I got down from my chair to shake her hand.

"Hello," I said, walking towards Jenna and reaching out my hand to shake hers, "My name is..."

"Jocelyn, I know," she took my hand and shook it. I guess I looked skeptical because she went on to say, "I know who you are. You have a really good YouTube channel. I'm glad to see you here."

I was shocked. Jenna Marbles said I had a _good _channel. _This is great! _I thought _Jenna Marbles thinks I'm cool! _

"Thank you!" I said, letting go of her hand.

"See you around!" Jenna said walking away, her group following her closely behind. I sighed as I watched her leave, signing pictures for fans as she went.

I finished setting up my booth and sat down to people-watch. I loved watching people. They are so interesting, especially when you're Deaf. I couldn't hear anything, but I knew VidCon was buzzing with activity and talking.

As I looked around, I saw several larger booths with more people surrounding them. Big banners around them read 'Nigahiga - Ryan Higa', 'PewDiePie - Felix Kjellberg', and 'Tobuscus - Toby Turner'. Seeing Toby's booth with about million people around it made me depressed. I had blown it with Toby. I felt bad about what I had done by walking away from him and not seeing him since yesterday. Maybe I'd never get that chance again.

**Toby's POV: **

"Audience?! WHA!? What are you doing at VidCon 2013?!" I yelled at the crowd while holding my iPhone which was recording. The crowd roared and laughed with excitement. I loved my fans. "That's perposterous!" I laughed and did the 'Intro of Darkness, then Redness, then Whiteness' introduction, with people doing it along with me, "So I'm at VidCon..." the crowd screamed again and I showed them my iPhone screen, recording them as I scanned the crowd. "and apparently you are too! HI AUDIENCE!" I waved to the crowd, creating another roar of laughter and screaming. I smiled. This is where I belonged.

**Jocelyn's POV:**

More people had come around my booth since about 10 o'clock. I met a lot of different people, both Deaf and hearing. I knew I had 200,000 subscribers, but I felt like I was meeting them all today! I didn't have near as many people as Smosh, Tobuscus, and Jenna Marbles, but I was still proud of my little crowd I was generating.

Around noon, everyone started gathering around the main stage, which was around the corner from my booth. I said goodbye to the last person and then walked around the corner to the main stage to find lots of people standing around the stage. I felt the bass vibrating through the floor so there must be very loud music playing.

A man walked out onto the stage with the microphone up to his mouth so I couldn't really read his lips from where I was in the back of the crowd. I caught a few words like "YouTubers" and "dancing", but other than that I had no idea what was going on. Suddenly, I saw Ian, Anthony, Jenna, Ryan Higa, Charlie (Charlieissocoollike), Toby, Felix, Ray William Johnson, and some other YouTubers come up onto the stage. The crowd was going crazy and I wasn't exactly sure why. Then I felt the ground shaking. Everyone on stage started to dance like crazy! I guess it was a dancing contest of some kind. They were all very good at dancing. I saw people around me laughing and cheering them on. I moved towards the stage to see what the man with the microphone was saying.

He was talking to me. He was pointing at me and calling me forward with a motion to come on stage. I was petrified. I'd never been on stage before, let alone to dance! People around me started egging me on and telling me to go onto stage. Did they know that I'm Deaf?

I started walking towards the stage, my heart pounding to the point of explosion. I reached the stairs past some bouncers and started walking up on the stage. The man kept calling me forward with his hand and telling me to come stand next to Toby on the end closest to me.

I just stood there. I'd never danced in public before. I didn't even know what music sounded like. What was sound?

I saw the man say my name and my YouTuber name. The crowd went crazy. Toby looked at me while he was dancing around, obviously being silly. He looked at me with concern. At that moment, I knew that he understood what I was thinking.

Toby came over to me and began moving my arms in a comedic fashion, smiling away. The crowd laughed and cheered me on. I had no idea what I was dancing to. I felt the beat through me feet placed firmly on the ground and from the speaker behind me.

I began to move my arms and legs to the beat that I could feel. Toby let go of my arms. I had felt beats before and kind of knew how to dance to them. I watched people dance at high school dances. I began to feel more and more comfortable as the song went on. Pretty soon, I was dancing and enjoying myself. I was sure to watch Toby and the others to know when the song ended.

When the vibrations stopped, I stopped and struck a pose like the other YouTubers and put on a big grin. The crowd went crazy again and cheered so loud I could almost feel their yells in my chest. I saw the man with the microphone clapping and walk out onto the stage again in front of us. I quickly got off the stage before I had a chance to see what he was saying.

I sort of ran back to my booth and sat down quickly, catching my breath. A few people came up and said what a good job I had done. A few of the Deaf people congradulated me on my dancing and that it was pretty funny to see a Deaf person dancing. I laughed and thanked them, even though I was still embarrassed and hadn't anticipated getting on stage.

I had actually had fun being on stage. It was difficult at first, but I really liked making people laugh and my dancing was the way to do it.

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I really hope this chapter made sense...I tried to describe it the best I could :)** **Here's the link to Jocelyn's outfit, if you're curious:**

cute_skirt/set?.svc=copypaste&embedder=7083483&id=82032803


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Here is chapter ten. I have a lot of ideas floating around and I'm trying to get them out to make room for college stuffs. Here ya go :)**

Chapter Ten - The Afterparty

After the first day at VidCon had ended, I said goodbye to the last little girl at my booth and started talking things down. Grabbing my laptop, I stuffed it into my backpack and zipped it up. As I looked up, I saw Toby standing in front of my table, smiling at me with his famously white, straight teeth.

"You were awesome on stage," he said.

I blushed, "Not really. I had no idea what was going on. I've never danced in public before..."

Toby touched my shoulder and looked into my eyes, "Seriously, they liked it." If I wasn't blushing much before, I was now.

"Thanks, Toby," I said, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and walking around the table. "It means a lot coming from you."

He stopped me from walking away by gently grabbing my arm. I turned towards him, watching his lips form around the words, "I'm sorry about yesterday. I just didn't really mean to..."

"It's okay, Toby." I stopped him, "I'm sorry I snapped at you. You just scared me and I got more upset than I should have." I hesitated a moment, then continued, "I just hate being Deaf sometimes." And I really did.

Toby's face changed to concern, "Why do you say that?"

"Because..." I choked a little. Oh no, I can't cry; not in front of Toby Turner. "Because I do." I looked down so he would see me cry. I felt him grab my chin and slowly bring my eyes up to his.

"You are different. That's what your fans like about you..." he said. I felt the sincereness in his eyes as he moved closer, "...and it's what I like about you." His face moved closer to mine and my heart began to beat faster. Was he...? Was he going to kiss me?

Suddenly, Toby's face turned to my left to look at someone who had caught his attention. He dropped his hand from my face as I turned to look at who had ruined my kiss with Toby Turner.

"...you coming?" Anthony Padilla was saying. There was a group of YouTubers standing all together, talking in a group with Anthony and Ian looking at us. I felt Toby touch my shoulder to get my attention. I turned back to him, trying not to blush or cry.

"So there's an after party at the hotel we're all staying at. Would you want to come?" Toby said, looking hopeful.

"Sure, I guess," I said, shrugging off my blush and near tears, "Should be fun, right?" I smiled weakly at him.

Toby grinned, "Good. I was hoping you'd say that." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the group of YouTubers, all of which looked pleased except for one.

I was thrust into a car with Ian, Anthony, Justine, and Toby to drive back to the hotel. Toby drove as I was squished in the back with Ian and Anthony. This gave me a chance to introduce myself.

"Hi, by the way. I'm Jocelyn." I said sticking my hand out to Anthony, who was on my right.

Anthony smiled and reached out to grab my hand to shake it, "Anthony." He said, plainly.

"It's finally nice to meet Smosh," I said, letting go of Anthony's hand and looking to my left at Ian, "I thought I never would. I've been watching you guys since the beginning."

Ian's face lit up, "Really?" He looked at Anthony over me and said, "It looks like we have a hardcore Smosher here, Anthony!"

I looked at Anthony and he laughed, "It's always great to meet a fan!"

I looked back to Ian, "...YouTuber now, Anthony. Get it right!" I assume he meant I wasn't just a fan; I was one of them.

Our small group walked into the hotel lobby and again I felt the beats of music on the floor. They were more intese than the ones at the Convention Center. It looked like a club with a DJ and booth, dancefloor, and bar, which were all crowded. Everyone around me began to move like they had on stage at VidCon: dancing. My plan was to stay out of the way and maybe I would get through this without embarrasing myself. I felt someone grab my arm so I turned around to see who it was.

"Hey! We should dance!" Justine mouthed at me, looking excited and starting to move in beating motion.

"I can't dance!" I mouthed back. I figured that it was really loud in here so she wouldn't be able to hear me, "I'm Deaf, remember?"

Justine let go of my arm and grabbed my hand, "Nonsense!" she mouthed again, then turned to drag me towards the dance floor. I turned to see Felix, Toby, and Olga shooing me towards Justine. Toby gave me a half-smile and mouthed, "Have fun!". Felix winked and Olga gave me a double thumbs up.

I tumbled away with Jusine towards the dance floor and wondered how I would get through this.

Grasping a bar stool, I pulled myself onto it and put my head into my hands. I breathed heavily. Justine had been trying to get me to dance for the last hour and a half. Even though I couldn't hear the music, I eventually got the hang of it and Justine showed me some dance moves. The other YouTubers, some of who I didn't even know, came and danced with us. Most of the songs were quick and with lots of bass. I smiled to myself; I was beginning to like dancing.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Ian standing there, covered in sweat and with his arm around a blonde woman. "Hey Jocelyn," he said, "This is Melanie, my girlfriend." I smiled at her and stuck my hand out.

"Nice to meet you," I said, "My name is Jocelyn."

"Nice to meet you, too," she said, taking my hand to shake it, "Ian has told me about you..." She pulled her hand back, covered in my sweat from my head.

"Oh gross, sorry." I grabbed a napkin from the bar and gave it to her, "I'm super sweaty."

Melanie made a disgusted face as she wiped her hand down, "It's ok,"

"I just wanted to prove to you that I had a girlfriend," Ian said, interupting the awkward moment. I laughed.

"I believed you, Ian."

**Ian's POV:**

"She's really cool, Melanie." I said, trying to yell over the sound of the music, "She's one of us now."

Melanie rolled her eyes and sighed, "Yeah, but she's so weird." Maybe Melanie didn't know that Jocelyn was Deaf. Sometimes she gets jealous of other girls that I think are "cool".

I put my arm around her waist as we walked towards the doors, "Whatever, babe." I found Anthony and Kalel near the wall on the other side of the room. We walked over and joined the group once again.

**Toby's POV:**

I don't know why I tried to kiss Jocelyn; I barely know her. My reputation is to date all of the girl YouTubers, so why not Jocelyn? She was beautiful, funny, smart, and...different. I think that's why I liked her so quickly. She wasn't like other girls on YouTube.

"Toby!" I heard someone yell my name off to my left. Justine was so close to me that I could feel the heat from her sweating body.

"What's up, girl?!"

She smiled, "I still wanna talk to you."

"Right now?!" Was she really going to do this now?

"Later," she said, moving closer, "If you're ok with that."

I saw Jocelyn was sitting at the bar, trying to catch her breath. She smiled at me and waved. "Ok. I'll talk to you later." I moved away from Justine, but felt her grab my hand and turn me around. Her lips suddenly hit mine in a rough, sweaty kiss.

**Jocelyn's POV:**

_Oh my...what is she doing?! _

I felt my heart fall out of my chest and hit the floor. He was kissing her. He was kissing her! I guess it was too good to be true. I thought he liked me more than this...more than kissing another girl.

I turned around on the stool. I didn't want to see it anymore. Closing my eyes didn't help either. I could still see him kissing her.

After the party, I walked out of the makeshift club and to the elevators. I hadn't talked to Toby about what happened. I didn't really want to get between him and Justine. If they wanted to get back together, they could. It's not like Toby and I were dating. I waited for the elevator as the first real tears began to fell down my cheeks.

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I appreciate your time and votes! Any are welcome :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Guys, bad things are happening. What's going to happen next?! Keep reading to find out!**

Chapter Eleven - The Last Day

The next day I awoke to a tear-streaked pillow buzzing on my face. I turned it off as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. They were sore from crying myself to sleep last night.

He was kissing her. I knew in my heart it was too good to be true. I knew I shouldn't have ever thought of Toby Turner that way. He was too good for me.

I reached for my phone and saw that I had 7 messages from Sophie.

**Hey how are you? :) I miss you!**

**Hello?**

**Jocelyn, please answer me. I wanna talk! You're worrying me...**

The messages continued; Sophie seemed to realize that something was wrong with me. I replied to the last message:

**Hey Sophie. Sorry. I went to the afterparty last night and **

I stopped. Should I tell her about what happened? I sat for a moment, contemplating how much I wanted to tell her.

**I got back late and fell asleep right away.**

I sent the message. I didn't want to worry her with my stupid boy problems. She was my best friend, but since I was pretty far away from home, I didn't want her to come and kick someone's ass.

Her response was quick.

**Oh my gosh! I was totally worried about you :( You didn't answer...**

**I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. **

**It's ok. How is VidCon? :)**

Again, I had the thought to tell her what happened. I'd never lied to her.

**It's...ok. I was really enjoying most of it...until last night.**

I pushed send and threw my iPhone on my bed. I hated being vague. I decided to jump in the shower to get ready for the second day of VidCon. Weirdly enough, I was excited. I decided to pretend that nothing happened. I didn't want it to be awkward between Toby and I. Maybe being friends was the only thing we'd ever be.

As I walked back into the convention center, I sighed as I saw Toby and some of his friends on stage already. I wasn't late, but I just didn't feel like going after what happened last night. I was pretty convinced that Toby didn't know that I saw...

Whatever. I brushed the thought away. I needed to concentrate on being here...at VidCon. I put a smile on my face as I walked over to my booth. There were some people around my booth already. I hope that I can forget about Toby and Justine.

Most of the people I met today were Deaf. I loved my fans. They are so amazing and kind! They helped me to forget about my problems for a little while and remember why I was really there. Apparently, I was some sort of inspiration to my fans. I felt so blessed to be in their lives and to help them understand that being Deaf wasn't a disease; it was something that made us unique.

Today went a lot smoother than yesterday. I felt better after a long day of meeting and greeting people. I had seen a lot of other YouTubers there and made several friends. One of my new friends, Meekakitty, informed me today that I'm almost up to 1 million subscribers.

**1 million subscribers! **

I didn't believe her until I went on to my account...890,002 as of 3 pm today. I couldn't believe it! This was all happening so fast!

After today's VidCon, I started packing up to leave. I didn't really want to go out tonight. I felt so alone again; like I had when I got here. It's amazing how fast I can begin to like someone and then feel betrayed by them.

Since it was the last day, I was sure to grab everything before I left. I was going home tomorrow. I missed my little family so much and I wanted to see them so badly. My flight left at 3:15 tomorrow afternoon so I planned to be ready to...

I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I sighed as I turned around. Someone caught me.

**Toby's POV: **

I felt like Jocelyn was avoiding me. Ever since last night, she seemed so distant, so depressed. I didn't think that she had seen Justine and I kiss, but...maybe I was wrong.

After that kiss, I had pushed Justine away, angry and disgusted by her. I looked around for Jocelyn, but Ian said he saw her leave the party early. I felt bad that I had jepordized our friendship. She was a great friend, but I wanted her to be so much more than that. I felt like I knew her, but like I wanted to know about her. I couldn't explain it to Felix last night when he asked about Jocelyn and I. I had never felt like this before.

Being the second day of VidCon, I got to wander around and hang out with my Audience. I didn't really get a chance to try and find Jocelyn. She seemed like she wanted to be alone anyway.

After a busy day of signing things and taking pictures, I wandered back to where Jocelyn's booth should have been. I saw her walking away with her backpack and bags at her sides, her hair down and wavy, swaying from side to side.

_This is my chance. Take it now, Toby!_

I ran after her, hoping that she would be happy to see me. I tapped her on the shoulder.

She turned to face me, looking exhausted and frustrated.

"Hi," she said, quietly and faking a smile, "I haven't seen you around here lately."

"I know," I said, making sure to look her in the eyes, "I haven't been a good friend." Her smiled faded a little, making me wonder what she really thought about what happened last night between Justine and I.

She set her bags down at her sides. Taking a deep breath, she said, "It's ok, Toby. I don't expect us to be best friends in two days..." she touched my arm, "...and I don't expect anything more than that."

She did see it. She saw what Justine did to me. I was beginning to think she saw everything except for the part where I pushed her away.

"Can I at least have your cell phone number to keep in touch? Maybe we need a friendship that goes longer than a few days."

Jocelyn laughed and ripped off a piece of paper from an ad that was laying on a nearby table, "Sure thing, Toby." She quickly wrote some numbers down and gave it to me, "Stay in contact, okay?"

I smiled like I had many times around her before, "Of course I will." I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for the best hug I could muster, "Of course I will." I said again, to myself.

**Jocelyn's POV:**

I rode home in the car with my mother. She came to pick me up and acted like I had been gone for years. I missed her even though we had talked almost every day that I had been gone.

As we walked in the front door, the lights flicked on and everyone I knew was standing in my front room! My whole family, friends, and even some of my people I worked at the hospital with! There were balloons and a giant banner that said "Congrats on 1 million subscribers!" on it. Everyone was doing the sign for applause. My face turned bright red and I turned to my mom.

**What is this?! **I signed quickly.

**Everyone wanted to be here to welcome you home the right way, **she signed, **They wanted to show their love for you and celebrate 1 million subscribers! **She hugged me and kissed my cheek.

I smiled as I turned towards the people in my living room. Everyone gathered around and gave me the best hug I'd ever had; I was home.

**Author's Note: YAY! haha hopefully things turn out alright. I understand that this may seem like the end of the story, but alas, it is not. Please keep reading! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Hey kids! I'm loving all the feedback I'm getting for this story. I hope you are enjoying it and keep reading :)**

Chapter Twelve - The Big Decision

"Hey mom!" I said, walking into the kitchen. It was Saturday morning: cereal and cartoon day! I grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and set it on the counter. My mom leaned over from the dishes to kiss my cheek. I walked to the fridge and opened it, staring inside for the milk.

It had been four months since I had been to VicCon. Since that time, I'd been working hard and gaining more subscribers on my channel. It was now up to 1,392,029...almost 1.4 million! I loved all of the feedback I got for what I had done at VidCon and all the people I got to meet. I was so excited that I was beginning to look like a real YouTuber.

Locating the milk, I grabbed it and set in on the counter next to my bowl. Going to the cupboard, I selected the most sugary and unhealthy cereal I could find. It was probably meant for Jonah, but I didn't care. I poured the cereal and the milk into the bowl and sat down to eat.

My mom waved her hand at me to get my attention. **So...did you think about it? **she signed.

I sighed. My mom has been trying to convince me that getting a cochlear implant was a good idea. I mean, being Deaf is part of who I am. I can't just throw that away.

**Yes mom. **I signed back to her. **I'm not sure about it.**

She looked a bit sad by this. I know that my mom has never been Deaf so she didn't really understand how I felt. I had always been Deaf...ever since I can remember. I didn't miss music because I coudn't ever remember hearing it. I didn't miss a bird singing or a thunderstorm because I didn't know what sounds they made.

**...you don't want to do it?**

**I said I wasn't sure, mom. **I signed, trying to let her down gently, **I don't know if I want to give up being Deaf. It's part of my life, mom. I'm the Deaf YouTuber. **

She smiled at me and came around the counter, taking off her rubber gloves as she went. I felt her wrap her arms around me in a sort of side hug. She kissed my cheek again and, turning my eyes towards her, mouthed, "I love you. I want what is best for you. It's your decision."

I laid in bed that night, thinking. It was a big decision. I wanted to hear what everyone was raving about. I wanted to be normal, but I didn't want to give up the one thing that I felt made me different. I was really stuck.

While I was contemplating this, my iPhone lit up on my bedside table. A text message appeared...from Toby Turner himself.

**Toby: **Hey guuurrrl! How you doin'?

I laughed. We had been talking for the last four months; ever since I left Los Angeles. I felt a greater friendship with him now more that anything. I still had a crush on him, but I hadn't said anything since I saw Justine kissing him.

**Me: **Hey Toby! I'm so good! How are you?

I debated telling him about the cochlear implant. One of the big parts of this operation would be that I would have to travel to Los Angeles to have it done. That would mean seeing him again.

**Toby: **Just fantastic :) What are you up to?

**Me: **Oh you know...living the dream :)

**Toby: **Sounds like you are doing good then!

Holding the phone, I thought of what to say next, but instead it vibrated again with another message.

**Toby: **I miss you.

My heart skipped a beat. _Toby Turner missed me?! _

**Me: **I miss you too, you big baby!

I tried to keep it casual. I missed him incredibly, but I wasn't going to let on that I wanted something more out of the friendship. I didn't want to ruin this friendship that we had built up over the last four months. I still didn't know how he felt about me, even though we almost kissed after VidCon one night...right before he kissed Justine.

**Toby: **I'm not a big baby, you are! :)

**Me: **Well, I'm not the one who's immature. I'm a big girl :D

Flirting with Toby made my stomach flutter a bit. I loved it. I didn't get this kind of attention from any of the other YouTubers. Felix and I had talked a bit since I left VidCon, but not as much as Toby and I.

**Toby: **Well, mature girl, you need to come and see me one of these days. That's an order!

**Me: ** And you can't come to Oregon?!

**Toby: **Nope. Too rainy and cloudy. I need sunshine to function! :) You know that.

I laughed again. That's what I loved about Toby; he made me laugh.

**Me: **Alright, alright. I want to come and visit everybody anyway...I _guess _I could stop by your place or something...

**Toby: **YAAAAY! Haha I knew you'd cave in eventually :) So when are you coming down?

I thought for a moment. If I could see a doctor about the cochlear implant without Toby or anyone knowing, I could go down next week or so to visit. Christmas was coming up so I wanted to get back to my family as soon as possible. It would be a chance to get away from the cold and drab Winter to sunny California!

**Me: **Maybe next week...?

I set my phone down and went to talk to my mom about the situation. "Mom?" I called out, walking into the hallway. She came out from a bedroom and smiled, waiting to hear what I needed.

"I want to see a doctor in L.A."

It was all settled. I flew back to L.A. to see a doctor about getting a cochlear implant. Just to see what my options were and what it would be like. I had to keep Toby and my other friends in the dark; I didn't want them to know about it quite yet.

Toby said that he would be here to pick me up about 15 minutes after my flight landed. I stood on the curb, waiting for his little car to pull up. I pulled out my iPhone and texted my mom that I had landed safely in Los Angeles.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see a smiling Toby Turner standing with his arms open. I smiled at him and gave him the biggest hug I could muster. When I let go, he brought his hands together to sign **How was the flight?**

I was so surprised I didn't know what to say. Did he learn some signs just for me?! How adorable! I guess my face looked like it was in shock so Toby immediately said, "That's it. That's all I know. I worked really hard on that." He laughed. I wish I could hear his laugh.

Laughing with him, I said, "Maybe you should practice a bit more, silly!" He smiled and picked up my suitcase, linking arms with me at the same time. This boy was going to kill me with his gentlemenly ways.

We arrived at his car. It was a cute little thing, just the right size and personality for Toby. He opened the passenger door for me and went to the back to put my suitcase inside. I climbed in and saw Ian, Anthony, and Felix in the back seat!

"SURPRISE!" I saw them yell, by the looks on their faces.

"Hey guys! I didn't expect to see you guys here in the back seat of Toby Turner's car!" I teased them.

Ian fake pouted and said, "We travelled all the way down from Sacramento and that's the first thing you say to us?!"

I sat down and shut the door as Toby got into the driver's seat and shut his door. "They wanted to come see you," he said, starting the car and putting on his seatbelt, "They missed you as much as I did!"

Looking back at Ian, I stuck my tongue out and said, "Missed you guys too!"

We arrived at the hotel I was staying at. Toby suggested I stay at his house, free of charge, but I really didn't feel comfortable with that. I knew we were just friends and all, but I didn't want to jepordize anything. Plus, I can be a really rude house guest.

"Really Toby, it's fine," I said for the millionth time, "I don't mind staying in a hotel for a little while."

Toby looked a little disappointed, but said, "Alright. You are the boss, boss."

We pulled up to hotel, cheaper than what I stayed in last time because I was paying for it. I picked a good one, just outside of L.A. I opened the door to get out. As I turned to shut the door, I saw Toby stand up on the other side and turn to face me. "So what are you planning on for later?"

I shrugged. "Nothing really," I said. Anthony and Ian opened the back doors and got out as well.

"You should come to my house." He said, smiling the biggest grin I'd ever seen.

I laughed at him, "Not when you look like that, creeper!" I went to the back of his car to retrieve my suitcase. Anthony followed me to the back to get his.

"You're staying here too?" I said to Anthony, turning to face him.

"Sure am," he said, popping the trunk and pulling out my suitcase first. He set it on the sidewalk in front of me and looked back up to me. "We weren't invited to Toby's house like you were." He winked.

I blushed. I didn't need this from him either. Sophie had been teasing me about Toby for four months now. She thought he liked me, but when I told him about Justine and what happened that night, she disliked him very much.

"Oh right..." I said, hiding my blushing face from Anthony.

Toby came around the car to help Ian get his suitcase out. "So party at your house?" I saw Ian say to him. I didn't see Toby's reaction or what he said so I turned away from them and waved goodbye to Felix, who was still in the back seat. He rolled down the window so I could see him speak.

"See you later, Jocelyn!" I saw him say, giving a little wink. What is it with boys and winking today?

I laughed, "Not if I see you first, Felix!" I winked right back.

"So are you coming to Toby's tonight? We're going to have pizza and video games!" He smiled big, jumping up and down on the back seat like a little child.

"Well, since you asked nicely and it involves pizza, I'll go." I said, sighing to tease him. Ian tapped my shoulder and I looked at him.

"Let's go check in," he nodded towards the front doors of the hotel and started walking in that direction. Anthony came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder, leading me away from the car.

I looked back at Toby and mouthed, "Thank you!"

He smiled and mouthed back, "You're welcome! Text me later!" he made the texting motions with his hands.

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I appreciate it greatly! Please PLEASE give feedback and stuff :)**


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